Trades Tales

Submitted Anonymously by a Satellite TV Engineer

I Was on a job with a lovely old couple in a very neat and tidy, well-kept bungalow.

Was having a bit of trouble pairing up two boxes, one in the bedroom and one in the lounge.

I noticed when walking from the bedroom to the lounge, there was a black thong on the floor.

I thought to myself, "How embarrassing for that lady, her knickers are on the floor."

A few more trips back and forth from the bedroom and lounge, hopping over the knickers, the thought occurred to me...

Surely this lovely old lady isn't wearing thongs.

Then I looked closer and thought...

I have the same ones.

Then it finally occurred to me...

THEY WERE MY KNICKERS.

I had quickly thrown on my trousers out the tumble dryer in a rush that morning and they must have been stuck to the Velcro on my back pocket.

Which meant I not only had dropped a pair of my knickers on the floor and left them there for half an hour for everyone to see...

But I had done two or three jobs before that, up ladders and outside, so I will have had a pair of knickers attached to my arse flapping in the wind like the Union Jack on top of Buckingham Palace.

I quickly swooped them up and stuffed them into my pocket.

The sweet old lady never said anything...

But she definitely did notice. 😂

Submitted Anonymously by a Satellite TV Engineer

We got a call from a customer who was convinced their roof had developed a leak after noticing a damp patch spreading across their bedroom ceiling. They'd already started pricing up a new roof because they'd been told it was probably beyond repair.

After a full inspection, the roof itself was actually in great condition.

The real problem was a blocked valley gutter hidden between two roof sections. Years of moss, leaves and debris had built up, causing rainwater to back up and find its way underneath the tiles during heavy downpours.

We cleared the blockage, replaced a small section of damaged felt, and checked the surrounding tiles for any issues. Once everything had dried out, the homeowner only needed a small patch of plaster repairing inside.

Instead of spending thousands on a new roof, the total repair came to under £250.

It was a great reminder that the biggest-looking problems don't always need the biggest repairs. A proper inspection can often save homeowners a lot of unnecessary expense.

Submitted Anonymously by a Roofer

As cleaners, we get called into all sorts of properties and no two jobs are ever the same.

On today's clean, I turned a corner and nearly jumped out of my skin... standing there was a life-size Princess Diana!

For a split second, I genuinely thought someone was in the room. 😳😂

Thankfully, it was only a cardboard cut-out, but it definitely earned a place on the list of unexpected things I've found while cleaning.

Just another reminder that in this line of work, you never quite know what you'll find behind the next door!

One job that stands out as both one of the toughest and most memorable I've ever taken on was a post-fire clean for a family after a kitchen fire.

It was a scorching hot day, but because of the soot and potential health risks, I had to wear full PPE, including a protective mask, throughout the clean. To make things even more challenging, it was my very first post-fire clean, and the scale of the work was much bigger than I initially expected.

The kitchen was by far the worst affected room, covered in soot and smoke damage, but I was determined to help the family get things back to normal. I carried out the work free of charge and was proud to successfully remove all of the soot from the kitchen.

By the end of the job, my shoes were so badly damaged by the soot that I had to throw them away and head home without them! Looking back, it was a challenging, rewarding, and unforgettable experience that showed me just how much of a difference our work can make when people need help the most.

Submitted by Pristinely Perfect, helping local homes and businesses stay clean, fresh, and spotless.

A few years ago, I was called out to what sounded like a simple bathroom renovation. The customer wanted an old bath removed and a new walk-in shower installed.

Everything was going to plan until we took the bath panel off.

Behind it was a small access hatch that the homeowner had never noticed before. Curiosity got the better of us, so we opened it.

To our surprise, it led to a hidden void underneath part of the house. It wasn't a secret room as such, but it was large enough to crawl into and looked like it hadn't been accessed for decades.

Inside were old newspapers dating back to the 1960s, a rusty toolbox, several glass bottles and what looked like original plans for an extension that had been built years earlier.

The customer was fascinated and spent most of the afternoon looking through everything we'd found.

What started as a straightforward bathroom replacement ended up becoming a small piece of the property's history being rediscovered.

It's still one of those jobs that gets brought up whenever we're talking about unusual finds on site.

Submitted Anonymously by a Local Tradesperson

I got a call from a customer who said they had a small leak under the kitchen sink. They assured me it had only started recently and should be a quick fix.

When I arrived, there was just a small drip coming from the pipework, exactly as described.

But as soon as I removed the kickboards beneath the units, I knew something wasn't right.

The floor underneath felt soft. When I lifted a section of flooring, I discovered the leak hadn't been there for days or weeks – it had likely been dripping slowly for years.

The chipboard floor had completely rotted away underneath the kitchen units. The base of several cupboards had started to collapse, and there was mould hidden behind the units that nobody had noticed.

What was meant to be a £5 washer replacement turned into removing part of the kitchen, replacing sections of flooring, drying out the area and coordinating repairs with other trades.

The homeowner couldn't believe the damage hidden beneath what looked like such a small leak.

To this day, whenever someone tells me, "It's only a tiny drip," I remember that kitchen.It's a perfect example of how the smallest problems are often hiding the biggest surprises.

Submitted Anonymously by a Local Plumber